newsday.com/news/local/ny-lisold0711,0,180324.story

Newsday.com
Hempstead officials join family to mourn Guardsman
BY KIMBERLEY A. MARTIN

kimberley.martin@newsday.com

8:47 PM EDT, July 10, 2008


↑The choir's collective voice resounded through the church as mourners clapped their hands and raised their palms to the ceiling. Tears filled the eyes of many, but the mood was far from somber.

They came to celebrate a life well-lived.

An estimated 600 people -- including Hempstead Mayor Wayne Hall, Assemb. Barbara Clark (D- Cambria Heights) and village trustee Donald Ryan -- packed Calvary Tabernacle Thursday morning to pay tribute to Sgt. 1st Class Joseph McKay, a National Guardsman who died June 26 after his convoy was ambushed in eastern Afghanistan.

No matter who spoke, their words echoed the same themes.

McKay, a native of Guyana, served his adopted country with pride and dignity for 31 years, but his family always came first, they said. He was a simple, soft-spoken, humble man who loved bike riding and television shows like the Three Stooges, "I Love Lucy" and "The Twilight Zone." But more importantly, his selfless service to others was unsurpassed.

"Joe's the only person I know to get a Christmas card from a homeless man," Sgt. 1st Class Troy Haley said.

Loved ones fought back tears and said they were trying to accept the fact that an explanation for tragedy often comes much later.

"I asked the Lord 'Why?' but I have not gotten an answer yet," said Diana Coleman, McKay's sister-in-law. "I don't know how long before the Lord will answer me -- maybe tomorrow, maybe the next month, maybe a year from now. ... But at the end of it all, our faith and our strength will grow more with God."

Rose, McKay's wife, was too grief-stricken to speak, but her simple, heart-rending letter to her husband -- which was recited by her sister, Diana -- encapsulated the love shared over the course of their 16 years.

"I don't know how another human being could love so unselfishly. You loved me and took good care of me. Now who's going to tell me to eat? To take a rest? To drop and give me ten?" Coleman read, as her sister dabbed her eyes and the congregation laughed.

A large American flag, draped between two Hempstead Fire Department trucks, hung high above the crowd as McKay's flagged-draped coffin emerged from the church's front doors. As the honor guard loaded his coffin into the hearse, his wife remained stoic, despite intermittent wails from the crowd.

The extensive funeral procession, which was headed to Long Island National Cemetery in Farmingdale, halted eastbound traffic on the Southern State Parkway, escorted by Nassau and Suffolk police. McKay was buried with full military honors.

"Joe spent 31 years living a soldier's life," Haley said. "It's as though he was predestined to be a soldier because of his birthday -- the Fourth of July."

Copyright © 2008, Newsday Inc.